so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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