Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
