I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
