there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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