these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
