Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
