i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
