Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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