totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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