U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
