Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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