My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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