I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
