I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
