The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
