Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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