He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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