The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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