So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize