I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
