Betty ford says i'm here all night
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
operation harelip BJ is a go
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
