i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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