I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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