Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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