Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
