I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
