So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
