Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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