You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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