I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
