Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
