? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
from now on my penis is your penis
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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