U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize