Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
