You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Randomize
