youre lurking in front of me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
