What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
