I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize