im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
