I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize