Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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