She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
