You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
