Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
