Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
