I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
