was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
