I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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