i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
