stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
