You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
