you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
