Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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