the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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