While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
