If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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