I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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