That's intense
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
